Gravity

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In a recently watched movie, the dark knight, a bad guy, joker, was portrayed by an Australia actor, Health Ledger who was born in Perth. Considering that I am also in perth, I feel close to him. I have to say  that he is a brilliant actor. He hardly showed his face in this movie. However, his role hunted my soul for couple of days. There was a night that I was waked up by his whisper in my ear (actually in my head): Madness is like a gravity.

 

Gravity…Who can ignore such a nature force? Who can live without such a gravity?

 

I encountered many people in my life. They are all very lovely. But if I silenced all the noise in my head, I can hear their inner voices. No matter what kind of topics we are discussing, A would quietly convert everything measurable, or in certain cases immeasurable into monetary values. Even if A regrets, he/she confession involves money. B would never lose a chance to show his/her intelligence. Even if B invites your advice, he/she would end up advising you. C would try all ways to please you. Even if C screwed up badly, he/she would try to find ways not to remedy the situation but to change your ideas about him/her. D would focus on maintaining distance with you. If you pull D closer, he/she would push you away to keep their independence. Again they are all very lovely.

 

Shall I translate the gravity in the traps of thinking? May it makes more sense. If one can silence all the voices in one’s head and reevaluate all the assumptions, it is not difficult to find such traps. Some traps are real and some are not.

 

Like all human beings, I have my own traps in thinking. However, there are few that I hope to escape.  

 

1.       I should never feel that Xinjiang is not my hometown. It is very easy for an Xinjiang han Children to consider their parent’s hometown as their hometown. But I was born in Xinjiang. I was raised there. It is the destiny that brought me there. Of course, I belong there. Beside, political boundaries are bonded to disappear. Regardless of the differences in the color of our skin, eyes and hair, we have the same set of basic needs. We need to eat, be loved and be kept warm. The existence of the political boundaries reflect our inability to manage our basic needs collectively. But one day, we will overcome our inability. Therefore, I don’t fear the political boundaries.

2.       I will not hate Uyghur people. Even they killed many han, I will smile to them when I see them. For those who have killed, it is not their fault to be trapped in a hateful thinking. We are all trapped in something. They must have remembered the good old days. We all do. We all remembered those good days, when we had nothing to worry. We awake when we had enough sleep. We water flowers every day. We eat fresh vegetables. We never run out of meat.  Cows are fat and sheep were strong. No matter whether these good old days truly exist or not, they occupy our thoughts. The deviation of the reality from these good old days will be analyzed, as if logical thinking truly has power to recover all these good old days. One way or the other, we exercise our logical thinking and have found all kinds of reasons to explain such deviation. Han blamed Uyghur for their inability to keep up with the modern society. Uyghur blamed han for destroying their tradition. Some people attribute the low life quality in China to the overly abundant population. Some used population to explain the fastness in the development in China. Some blamed machines for the increasing unemployment rate. Others created more machines to create job opportunities. Some found that jobless is such an unfortunately situation. Others chose to enjoy the freedom brought by jobless. I cannot tell who is right and who is wrong. But I reserve my privilege to think differently and to accept those who think differently than me.

3.       I will not fear the conflicts. We cannot avoid conflicts. In the long history of humanity, there is nobody ignorant and innocent. We could be all false since there is no universal standard to establish a line between right and wrong. Our life could all be meaningless since there is no universal accepted interpretation of “meaning”. No matter, we accept or not, we were all given one life and one planet to share.  We live in conflicts and choose to see harmony in conflicts.

 

This blog is written after I have read extensively about the recent riot in my hometown. Knowing my family have to face the long-term consequence of this riot,  I feared. To overcome my fear, I write this. I declare a war to myself. There are mortal fear that I think I can overcome. Batman does not exist. I will not be ‘Joker’.

 

 

 

 

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