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Several years later, LD called Fe in a spring festival. Fe was so happy to hear from us since we hadn’t called him in three years. I talked with Fe for only about five minutes. I got off the phone angrily. Things never changed for Fe. He teased me like I was a 10 year old. He always did this to me. I always felt angry when he treated me like a child. He was such a sensitive person and he knew that inside I was just a kid.
He talked with LD for about an hour. I pretended that I didn’t care. But I cannot help but peeking at LD. Sometimes, LD had some sadness on his face and sometimes he smiled. After LD hung up the phone, he was silent for a while. He was just lying on the bed and was thinking. It was extraordinary, since LD never thinks. Even he had two PHDs, he never truly used his brain. But he was seriously thinking about something after he talked with Fe.
I hided my curiosity as long as I could. 10 minutes later, I found myself asking LD about Fe: Was he still dating Xia?
“No. He is no longer with Xia.”
“Who is he dating now?” I never truly cared about Xia. In my subconscious mind, I always know Xia wouldn’t marry Fe.
There were numerous moments when I wanted to tell Fe that it was impossible for Xia to marry him. I once visited Fe in City B. When we were walking on the streets, Fe would point at a cloth at a display window and ask me: “Would that fit Xia?” When we passed a chocolate shop, Fe would ask my opinion on the flavors of chocolates that girls like. All those moments, I wanted to tell Fe that he should be prepared for a nasty break up. We then passed a shop selling wedding dresses. Fe looked at those dresses with a childish smile on his face. That was a moment when I started to believe in Fe. I believed that he would marry Xia eventually. Back then, I was such a transparent person. My disbelief and indifference was all written on my face. Fe must have seen my change of altitude. All of the sudden he also started to believe that he and Xia can have a happy ending. He had forgotten that I was a kid inside. I even believe in things like a hidden magic world behind a rainbow and a guardian angel living on the moon. Outside that shop, we both imagined how Xia would look like in one of those dresses. Later that day, he told me that he miss Xia like crazy. He told me that it hurts when Xia is not around and he wanted to cut himself to dismiss the pain in his heart. I believed him. But when I asked Fe to go back to city A with me, he said nothing. I couldn’t figure out Fe. He was such a complicated person. Why didn’t he just go back to city A?
I couldn’t stop thinking. LD was also thinking. But since he rarely thinks, he didn’t know how to explain to me what he was thinking. I couldn’t sleep at that night. I had to wake LD up and ask him what he was thinking. LD was still half asleep. He had to tell me what I wanted to hear as quick as possible since he falls asleep really fast. He knew that I have a particular taste for tragedy, so he told me: “Last year, after Fe found that Xia was married, he had a car accident. He was nearly killed and stayed in hospital for several months.” This was as far as LD can make. He fell asleep immediately afterward. I missed every detail in between now and then. Were they still dating after I left city A? How long did they date? When did they break up? Was it before or after Xia was married? Who did Xia marry? What did happen in these three years? I couldn’t find answers. After I left city A, I started to behave like an adult. All adults tend to forget things that truly matter to them. The next morning when I was awake, I had forgotten that I had a sore spot in my heart for Fe and MD acted as if he never talked with Fe. It became an ordinary morning. After that morning, Fe never crossed my mind until yesterday.
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