messing vs. missing

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A friend strongly recommended the oxford murder to me. I asked her why it is good. She said that a boy in the movie said:

...I would rather be messing up with my life than be missing it.....

It sounds brilliant. But two notions in this sentence are unclear. What could be messed up and what could be missed?

Let's imagine: you fall in love with a boy and you don't know if you should confess. So assuming you only have two choices: confess or not confess, let's index these two choices as Scene A and Scene B.

Assuming Scene A actually occurred, you would get only two answers: Yes or No. Let's index these two results as Scene Aa and Scene Ab.

Assuming Scene B actually occurred, you would get only two choices: Forget the boy or Love him forever. Let's index these two outcomes as Scene Ba and Scene Bb.

So far, Aa looks like the most desirable scenario, but it prevents you from knowing other boys. Bb looks like the most miserable outcome, but it could prevent you from getting into a possible fatal marriage. No matter which scenario actually happened, you will have an outcome, and this outcome belongs to you. So you don't actually miss anything. You just played out your destiny.

Let's put up a more dramatic scene. So assuming you want to kill a person, and you only have two choices: kill or not kill, let's also index these two choices as Scene A and Scene B.

Assuming Scene A actually occurred, you would get only two outcomes: you are sentence to death or you concealed your crime. Let's index these two results as Scene Aa and Scene Ab.

Assuming Scene B actually occurred, you would get only two choices: Forget this person or hate him forever. Let's index these two results as Scene Ba and Scene Bb.

Scene Ab looks good so far. But you may live in fear and guilt for the rest of your life. Scene Ba only suits Divine people. If you are a Divine people, you probably would never come up with the idea of killing. Scene Bb is perhaps what most of us would experience. But we unavoidable take out our rage on other person, which makes this world a horrible place.

Based on the above examples, it is not difficult for me to reach the conclusion: You cannot miss your life, since time is unstoppable. You may choose to experience things that you want to experience in a particular time period. But you cannot control what comes the next.

The boy in the movie pursued other to mess up their life. He can only have two motives: to satisfy his own need, or to watch other person to suffer. No matter what motives this boy has, it is not his life, and he does not experience the outcomes.

I haven't watched this movie, but I do have a conclusion about this movie: not worth watching.....

Nothing can be missed, since time continues. No matter A or B, every moment of my life will be filled with a choice and an outcome. I cannot miss my life.


Well. I know people should not judge a book by its cover....But I do. Why I sounded so philosophical? I am reading A brief history of time.




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