True love is love for humanity

.


One of my favorite quotes from the desperate housewife is: the secret for the happily married couples is that they never looked at each other.

Why? Why can't we look at each other? Too many wrinkles or too many grey hairs?

I recently watched several episodes of Lie To Me. It says, you can tell whether a marriage will last by watching a couple talking for 5 minutes.

Why can't people who have been dating for several months tell if they are right for each other?

............................................


First, what can we get by looking at each other?

One notion from Lie to Me which I liked is micro-expression. This TV serious is entirely built upon the idea that micro-expression always tells the truth, since no one can fake micro-expression (Although all the micro-expressions you have seen in that TV series are faked by actors and actresses).

Are we getting too much micro-expressions from each other? A moment of contempt? A moment of resentment? A moment of disgust? A moment of manipulation? A moment of jealousy?

Second, assuming we are truly getting those micro-expressions, how should we interpret them?

If a husband has a look of contempt on his face, does this mean he resent his wife or he resent the situation that his wife has put him through? Did this husband respond to the current situation or a previous experience that had bad consequences? Does this husband resent all things in general?

Third, how should we respond to micro-expressions?

Assuming that we are interpreting a micro-expression correctly, what should be the next step? Should we react or act? If we react, what should be a correct reaction? Should we end a marriage by a look that reveals contempt? Or should we pretend that we haven't seen it? Or should we act out to modify ourself?

Finally, what if our actions fail to change things in the correct directions. For example, a look that reveals contempt now changed into a look that reveals manipulation?

If things are getting complicated, should we stop looking at each other? We all know how crazy this world can be. In most of the situations, we seemed to have no power to control anything. Can ignorance simplify things?


....................
(singles, open a beer and celebrate the simplicity in your life)
....................

I cannot answer any of the questions I asked in this post. But I do have further questions: why a look of contempt is a bad thing? A look of manipulation? A look of mistrust? A look of disappointment? Why can we look at them as if we are looking at flowers with different colors?

Isn't every emotion (e.g., contempt, mistrust, jealousy, and disappointment) a piece of humanity? We must have been hurted at one point by some of these emotions. Why can't we use our wounds to heal others? Why majority of us choose vengeance instead of remission? 

The answer seems to hide within the nature of humanity. If you have love for every piece of humanity, will vengeance mean anything to you? Or vengeance itself is a piece of art by God?

Can our love for humanity conquer our instincts to react to the micro-expressions? Maybe it can. But if we have true love for humanity, we love everybody equally. Why should we stay with the one who we married?

Finally, 

Should a married couple look at each other? If there is not eye contacts, there is no communication. Isn't that just two people are geographically close to each other? (suddenly, I feel passionate about geography)

Theory without practice is fantasy. Practice without theory is chaos. 

Should we call marriges in which couples do not look at each other is a marriage without practice, and the ones in which couples do look at each other a marriage without theory?

So if you are married, you either stay in a fantasy or in chaos.........

.

It is coming

.


May 5th, final exam will be given.

May 6th, final grade will be given.

May 7th is coming. On this day, I will be condemned to hell.

Knock, Knock...Here comes Ms. Crying.

...Hi, Crying, how are you?

...I am not so well. I am here to discuss my final grade with you.

...Ok...

...I am graduating this semester. I hope you let me pass this course.

...You failed the final exam, and you completed none of the assignments.

...My mother died. I had to take care of her. Illness and funeral. I had to work two jobs to cover my tuition. Too much was going on this semester.

...Can you bring a proof, so I can let you withdraw. By the way, didn't you tell me your mom died last semester?

...No. It was not me. I swear. I don't want to withdraw. I just need to graduate.

...But you failed the exam.

...I am getting married this summer. If you fail me, I have to delay my wedding. I really need to graduate before I get married.

...I offer my congratulations. But still you failed this course.

...My fiancés will leave me if he knows that I cannot graduate it.

...Maybe he is not worth marrying.

...I also have an interview at XXX. I know I will have a pretty good shot. If you let me graduate, I should get that job.

...I really cannot. I cannot change your grade.

tears run out of Ms. Crying's eyes.

...This is my second time taken this course. It is so unfair that I have to fail it twice. Can you give me an incomplete and give me a summer project or something?

...I cannot. You failed the exam. It is not that you really cannot complete the course. You completed it and you failed.

...Life truly sucks. How can you watch my life to be ruined? I cannot stay in college for ever. You have no idea how much I want to start my life.

...I really cannot help.

...I paid you. Part of your salary is from my pocket. How can you fail me? How can you ruin my life like this? Go to hell....









.

Friendship

.


What is friendship and what makes friendship such an desirable thing for human being?

I cannot claim that I have found an answer to this question. At least, I found some ideas that may eventually lead to the answers to this fundamental questions.

1. Friends help you to kill your uninvited thoughts by distracting you from your own life.

2. Friendship can serve as an explanation for our deviation from our routine life.

Let's cross fingers and wait for the real answers to come in the next couple of hundreds years before the global warming kills us all.



.

Kutner was just dead

My favorite TV show "the house" has gone wild lately. Kutner was dead and house has seen ghost.

I loved "the house". It is a fantastic show. We have already accepted the idea of the "butter fly effects". "The house" is trying to tell us that within a "house" there is no butter fly. Everything is caused by something. We are who we are is because someone or something made us who we are.

I loved this TV shows for its appreciation of human suffering. It admits that it is the human suffering that made us a better self. However, it was never revealed that what "a better self" truly means.

Now, a butter fly just broke into this house. Kutner was dead in the previous episode. I, myself, often wrote things. I know the character didn't just die because he truly died. After wikied the show, I found out that the reason why Kutner was dead is because the actor just found a new job.

Ironic..isn't it. A butter fly just hits "the house".


Another show I also loved is "the despearte house wife". It is the blend of "the house" and "the butter fly effects". Everything seemed to have a reason, and there are always unexpected to surface.

Anyway, Kutner was giving such a perfect ending........

50 steps laugh 100 steps

.




It was inside a Vietnamese restaurant. The waiter looked like the decedent of Asian. It was unknown if he was Vietnamese. On the table, there was a Taiwan news paper. Above the table, it was a Japanese style light. The furniture had the Modern European style.

Around the table, four people were ready to order their food. Two men were American: white European descendants. They were getting ready to order anything relevant to Chicken "made in America". Two girls were from China. One was from the western part and another was from the eastern part of China. They were ready for some hot soup.

Of course, one girl was me. I wear a coat made in China. My pant was made in Philippine. My sweater was made in Taiwan. My necklace was made in Egypt. My lip gloss was made in Japan and my facial lotion was made in France. In my pocket, there was a cute key chain made in Australia. Besides me, there was some antique Chinese cloth.

All of sudden, the man right infront of me started to criticize the Pakistan society. He heard about a story that a Pakistan girl was spotted in the same room with an electrician (alone). This girl was therefore whipped due to her inappropriate social conduct.

This man, my dear friend, after travelled all over the world, and saved several Vietnamese girls from the cruel war,ridiculed the Pakistan society for classifying the staying of a man and a girl in the same room as bad social conduct.

My question is how can this happen? I mean, the term culture diversity is the invention of the united state. How come the people in this country often judge other society using their own standard? Isn't the idea of the culture diversity is to judge the same thing using different standards?

Besides, what is so wonderful about this society? Yes, single man and single woman can stay in the same room and do whatever they wanted to do (sometimes even married ones). But why are one third of population on antidepressant drugs? I bet Pakistan society is laughing about the United State now.





* my friend, if you see this, please forgive me, my nature is cynical. But no offense. I respect you highly.






.

The practical nature of human being

.




One man's bible has stayed on my bookshelf for quite a while. I finally find a quiet afternoon to read it. This is almost the first book I purchased in the United State. I got this book is because I was curious about its author, Gao Xingjiang who won a Nobel price. Several of his books were banned in China.

I wanted to know why he got Nobel price and why his books were banned. That is not exactly the question I want to ask. I was sincerely wondering why in such a chaotic world, a system tic investigation about this society can attract that much attention. What was the fear of the Chinese government, and what was valued in the western society. A question with a similar nature has often intrigued me: why in a society where most of the people seemed to be mentally and physically abused, the majority are still loyal to their government? Also in many relationships, one person is clearly mentally abused. Why these people chose to stay in the loop?


What has been ruling people's mind?


One man's bible is a depressing novel, a very bad choice for a sunny afternoon of spring. The language is so so, and story is hard to follow. There is no drama. You only hear a mid-aged man murmuring about his depressing life.

If you read this book, you might be as puzzled as me. It seemed that the author used a really length book to express his anger towards the limited freedom in speaking in China. Why freedom in speaking is such a big deal?

Now, I lived in a "free" land for many years, I never enjoyed the freedom of speaking in this country. You can never say anything negative about almost every thing. Most of the top selling books, such as, the secret of success, coach people about what to say and not to say. You can never comment negatively on other people's kid. You can never talk about the shortcommings of your boss. The reason is simple since these are not your f*cking business. If You say things freely, you will burn a plenty of bridges. Your life is so f*cking over. But why is western socity in favor of such a depressing book? This comment can be extended to another depressiong book: the China man.

Why such a book imposing a threat to a strong government?

Ban...An idea just hits me: the practical nature of human being.

see, this is how the game was played. During the culture revolution, even most of the people were mentally abused, they still see lights in the tunnel. If they can fake their loyalty to the "authority", they will be rewarded in the end. All they have to do is to accept the twisted logic. Apparently it is not such a difficult task, and people have been creative to extend illogical actions of Gang of four. There still is a chance for everyone to find a position in the society.

When the gang of four crashed, the hope of people who are willing to adapt to the twisted logic was vanished, and everybody come back to their senses. It is also like German war. After the war, everybody started to realize the wrong doings of war.

So nobody truly cared the right and wrong of the actions taken by the government. They care more about what they can get from these actions. The public accusation of those wrong doings of government by writers is nothing but a profitable voice appealing to those who hasn't been rewarded.

There are always actions that are taken by government and fail to reward anybody. The accusation of such actions is more profitable, and arouse angry feelings of general public. Once a target for angers is formed, people wouldn't leave it blank without firing arrows made by angers.

It is not the crash of the moral standard that brings down a government. It is a crash of the rewarding system that makes a government weak. Writers like Gao XingJiang are of course the fear of the government, since they pointed out that your loyalty might not be rewarded. Why the western society love this book? They need to defeat China without using any weapon.

Everybody is practical.........We are born to be practical.



.

I love you google

.



Love is often stupid. So is my love to google. I found that because of my love to google, I cannot type without google auto-suggestions. I cannot convert units on my own anymore, I cannot even read maps anymore....

But I still love google, for its creativity. I hope you also clicked New! Gmail Autopilot. It is a brilliant idea..I love it, even know it is a April fool job. But I do love it. I especially love their cute examples for the auto-reply. I wish I can eat a shark while it is still alive...I just love it....

My love to google may seem to be insane to many people. I heard many "older generation" criticize the younger generation for their inability to read, write and think. I often wonder: who's fault is this? If it is not something that the older generation has done, how come the younger generation can survive without reading and thinking?

I just don't understand why "the older generation" deserve to have a sense of superiority?............We are all April's fool....No one is better than the other..........





.