True love is love for humanity

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One of my favorite quotes from the desperate housewife is: the secret for the happily married couples is that they never looked at each other.

Why? Why can't we look at each other? Too many wrinkles or too many grey hairs?

I recently watched several episodes of Lie To Me. It says, you can tell whether a marriage will last by watching a couple talking for 5 minutes.

Why can't people who have been dating for several months tell if they are right for each other?

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First, what can we get by looking at each other?

One notion from Lie to Me which I liked is micro-expression. This TV serious is entirely built upon the idea that micro-expression always tells the truth, since no one can fake micro-expression (Although all the micro-expressions you have seen in that TV series are faked by actors and actresses).

Are we getting too much micro-expressions from each other? A moment of contempt? A moment of resentment? A moment of disgust? A moment of manipulation? A moment of jealousy?

Second, assuming we are truly getting those micro-expressions, how should we interpret them?

If a husband has a look of contempt on his face, does this mean he resent his wife or he resent the situation that his wife has put him through? Did this husband respond to the current situation or a previous experience that had bad consequences? Does this husband resent all things in general?

Third, how should we respond to micro-expressions?

Assuming that we are interpreting a micro-expression correctly, what should be the next step? Should we react or act? If we react, what should be a correct reaction? Should we end a marriage by a look that reveals contempt? Or should we pretend that we haven't seen it? Or should we act out to modify ourself?

Finally, what if our actions fail to change things in the correct directions. For example, a look that reveals contempt now changed into a look that reveals manipulation?

If things are getting complicated, should we stop looking at each other? We all know how crazy this world can be. In most of the situations, we seemed to have no power to control anything. Can ignorance simplify things?


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(singles, open a beer and celebrate the simplicity in your life)
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I cannot answer any of the questions I asked in this post. But I do have further questions: why a look of contempt is a bad thing? A look of manipulation? A look of mistrust? A look of disappointment? Why can we look at them as if we are looking at flowers with different colors?

Isn't every emotion (e.g., contempt, mistrust, jealousy, and disappointment) a piece of humanity? We must have been hurted at one point by some of these emotions. Why can't we use our wounds to heal others? Why majority of us choose vengeance instead of remission? 

The answer seems to hide within the nature of humanity. If you have love for every piece of humanity, will vengeance mean anything to you? Or vengeance itself is a piece of art by God?

Can our love for humanity conquer our instincts to react to the micro-expressions? Maybe it can. But if we have true love for humanity, we love everybody equally. Why should we stay with the one who we married?

Finally, 

Should a married couple look at each other? If there is not eye contacts, there is no communication. Isn't that just two people are geographically close to each other? (suddenly, I feel passionate about geography)

Theory without practice is fantasy. Practice without theory is chaos. 

Should we call marriges in which couples do not look at each other is a marriage without practice, and the ones in which couples do look at each other a marriage without theory?

So if you are married, you either stay in a fantasy or in chaos.........

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